Wednesday, April 21, 2010
What's on my mind
I don't know why, but lately at least once a day I ponder having more children....in my head it goes like this (kind of random)....
"Man, I really want a big family. atleast 3....but I would really love 4. I'm crazy though, because I can't handle the one's I've got. It would be really expensive to have a lot of kids. How would I be involved in all their activities and make sure I am fair and equal. I am struggling already with these two...there's no way I could handle any more. But I really love big families and I want that so much for myself but also for my kids. What if I did have more kids and I really couldn't handle it? How would it effect my marriage now and in the future? Surely, atleast one kid would turn out bad so maybe I should stop now! What if I had 4 bad kids?? What will my body look like after 4 kids? If I have another one, how much longer should I wait because I don't want to be having kids for like 10 years...but it sure would be helpful to space them a little farther apart. I love a loud house with lots going on. I love the idea of my kids having instant friends in their siblings, and having them forever once I am gone. I love the idea of my kids having to share rooms and toys and hurts and triumphs with each other. I love the thought of them learning from each other. But what if my kids just fight all the time? What if I stop at two and Lexie and Tripp aren't really that close when they grow up? But man, if we stop at 2 Randall and I could really enjoy each other more and get more free time and travel more. The current house we are in would be perfect and we wouldn't need a bigger car. Hmmmmm"
As you can see I think a little too much. Why am I stressing over this? I need to just leave it in God's hands and pray about it! For some reason I am feeling rushed though..like I need to hurry because I don't want to be having kids throughout my whole 30's!!!
In the last 2 weeks I have met two young mothers who are pregnant with their 5th kid!!! They seem like they have it all together so I leave feeling a little envious but also a little confident that maybe I could do it too! It's a big decision people!!!
Any advice?
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9 comments:
Advice from me? nope! But I will say that you are a great mom, and I know you could handle more kids. In fact, what a blessing you would be to your children getting to be their mom! If anyone can have (love) a bunch of kids- it would be YOU!
I know I loved being a part of a big family. You and Randall seem to be great about getting "couple time" in.
What an exciting thought :)
None from me either. I do agree with everything in that post though. My mind does the same thing, especially now that I'm getting married. Im almost 30 and don't have any kids yet. I think you do a great job, and you would do great with however many you have!
Well, I think those same thoughts run through my head everyday! I think you're just psyching yourself out of it, I think that you'd be great with a big family, and that you're just thinking too much. Just go for it...and I promise things will turn out just how you want them to be, with a big happy family!
Hey Lizzie ~ Yip the same runs through my mind as well. But, I know I need to stop at 3! With everything factored in I belive that works best for my family. But God only knows!
Really no big advice hear either. You really have to do what you and Randall truely want. Whatever that is, you'll do great! And have fun along the way. You're just that kind of person :-)
I do think it's a good thing to think about it - after all it is big decisons.
Wow! I think all those thoughts! I only have 1 and wonder how I could handle 2. I'm just like you and loved having a big family!!! It's a big decision but I know it will all work out for you. You're an amazing mom, wife and friend and will be the same with 2 or 8 kids. Somehow things just always work out!!
Lizzie - I don't think you give yourself enough credit! You are an amazing mom!!! Of course I agree that you need to stop stressing about it and pray! He'll show you and empower you to mother as many kids as he puts on your heart. Love you girl!
Hi Lizzie! The bottom line is that children are blessings from God - even the naughty ones, ha! You're doing the right thing by giving your fears to God because he will give you a peace one way or the other...or maybe "peace" isn't the right word when you're talking about toddlers, LOL.
I wish I could give advice to you, but I could have written that same monologue. I've come to the same conclusion - trust God to work it all out, and for now, enjoy the two you have. You are a fantastic mom!
Thanks for all your comments! This post was definitely therapeutic for me! It was one of those that I debated posting. I have several in my drafts that are similar to this but on different topics. I bet you all would love to see them, huh? Ha!
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